Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
sex in a hospital.. check
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
