I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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