Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
