Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
