I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
