Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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