What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
