Don't you send me to vm
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
