He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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