remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
