After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
