; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
