i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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