You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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