Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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