Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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