listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
