my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
