my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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