Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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