Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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