You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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