is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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