it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
