Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
