sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
