update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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