Non-Jews are for practice
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
