I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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