i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
