I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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