I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
