Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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