Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
