I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
did i walk over a car last night?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How external is "for external use only"?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
