I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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