I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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