dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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