The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
