im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
