I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
