he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
