Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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