I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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