Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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