My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
one two three fourrrrnication!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
