Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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