Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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