Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
