Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
